So I was a-walking and listening to my head-phones. But I had to untangle my head-phones or something. I’m not sure the exact reason I had them off in area I really don’t like to have head-phones off.
There was a black woman walking in front of me with a little black girl. At first glance I guessed the girls age to be 11 because she seemed rather tall. At second glance, I guessed 9 because she seemed to have not started to develop at all.
As much as I was making an effort to block the world out, I none the less got a big chocolately-treat of “We wuz Queenz“. The woman let out a big and scary belly voice to the young girl, “Your m******* f****** s****** p******** whining!!!!!!”
I’m not exactly sure what the mother said because it shocked me so much and was so vile and held a physical threat for the high crime of whining.
(The woman who made this video is clearly of the talented tenth. She's very cute and creative and I am sure is a good mother.)
I knew the voice. I have it within me. I think I’ve used it like 3 times. I don’t know for sure. The only time I know for sure, Is when I was leaving my local Bodega and some 6’4″ (cracker) meth-head followed me out and was fussing at me about allegedly stealing some shiny doo-dad that he owned. I had no idea what he was talking about. The very kind owners of the store, that always look out for me, had one of their mega-sized-sons follow him out and seemed very shocked when out of my body came that very animalistic voice bellowing: “You Back the f^ck up Right now!”
I thought my life was in danger at the time. I have to admit it was kind of fun to see even the store owner’s giant son flinch in surprise at my monster voice. They’re always on about how sweet I am and think I can’t take care of myself.
It’s a voice I’ve never used with someone I know. It’s a voice that neither of my parents ever used with me. It’s a voice I’ve never seen my friends parents use with them. I’m not even sure I’ve used it out of that time that Jimmy-Tweaker-Stewart was coming at me.
But this little girl was getting that voice used on her for whining.It’s doubtful that she even did that. Whining.I observed the mother or grandmother, who knows? She was petite and fashionably dressed.
If the ever-nurturing amazing vagina-owner had not been so vicious to the child in her care, I wouldn’t have stumbled over my head-phones so much while feeling absolutely sick and confused over what I was witnessing,
The little girl met my eye as they were going into their courtyard and Ms Yelling had to stop to open the gate. Her eyes weren’t dead like I have seen with abused Chinese kids. They weren’t pleading as I have seen with abused white kids. I actually sensed an understanding, albeit a very dark one, that it wasn’t right but there was no escape.
As an adult white woman I felt an intense responsibility. Whites are hugely and uniquely bad at being bigots and I am no exception. I looked away from the cute little girl first. I felt intense shame for not even attempting to do something. And I have a history of being courageous enough to do that. I ‘ve taken on 3 generations of Chinese for picking on their tiny girl and I will brag with great success.
Chinese aren’t blacks though. Of course I approach people like this with humor and flanking so it’s not as easy for them to get straight up physical with me. Blacks though- this one much older than me black woman made me think- yeah…no. I’m not in the mood to star in a Colin Flaherty video. Although honestly I probs could have taken her because white people like myself have superior sense of focused resources vs. silly windmill rubber arms.
But then all her neighbors would have come out-Nevertheless I walked on with my shame but also thinking why is my people’s perspective never a part of this equation? Being around such a foreign people is incredibly stressful. They want to cry about micro-aggressions when all they seem to do is Macro-Aggress against everyone.